32 x 32 – lessons and contemplations

Every year around my birthday I start reflecting on my journey so far. Im turning 32, but it feels like 10 lifetimes. Since time is an illusion this is an equation that totally makes sense btw haha.

Where am I? Who am I? What lead me up to this point in my life? Where do I want to go next?

My journey is far from ordinary and can be likened to a wild fucking rollercoaster. There has been so much suffering – and so much joy. There has been years spent in an active addiction, self destructive behaviours that almost ended this life of mine several times. There has been oh so many heartfelt connections to people and places. I lived on 4 different continents in 12 different countries by now after all.

Most of my life I have been running and searching. Recently, I realised that what I was both running from and searching of was existing within me this whole time. WELCOME.

What a relief to stop running and coming home to myself.

The biggest realisation that I had in my life came a few weeks ago:

Im going to live fully from my heart by making sure that everything I do is either an offering or a prayer to our planet and the universe.

By doing so, I am stepping into my power as a creator and will manifest magic with ease, since im coming from a place of love. What a wonderful way to live life.

Here’s some other nuggets of gold I picked up along the way..

1. Don’t ever base your worth on other peoples opinon. Its what you think and feel that matters.

1. Having strong personal boundaries are key. Communicating them from a calm place of love is the second step to the formula. Don’t give people too many chances when they are overstepping time after time. Respect yourself, or others won’t.

1. When in doubt, ask what an unbiased third party would have done.

1. Always choose the highest available timeline by tapping into your heart. You are worthy and you are loved regardless of what you might have been taught. The world does not benefit from you playing small.

1. Be the person that you want around you and in your life. Be the girlfriend, friend, wife, mother, daughter that you would like to have.

1. Whatever you put out into the world you get back in one form or the other. Give to yourself and others from an open heart.

1. You have to feel it to heal it. It doesn’t work to run away from your shadow-self or emotions. They just grow bigger and scarier. Soften into it instead. Let it flow thru you instead of holding on to it and don’t assign stories to its importance. Nothing is permanent.

1. Take care of your body by tuning in. Yes exercise and healthy eating are MVPs, but what you need will vary from day to day. Instead of scheduling your particular workouts a week in advance, block out time to move and let the decision of what to do be rooted in how you feel. If you need to rest, rest. Pushing through things are actually not a sign of strength.

1. Guilt and shame are really low vibrational emotions. Get help, read and study to find the best ways for you to move through and heal past/present trauma.

1. The power of Now is real. Time is an illusion, but at the same time very valuable. So respect your time, and respect others by honouring your commitments.

1. Don’t forget to breath. We often breath in a too deep or too shallow way, not helping our systems to achieve balance.

1. Nothing is personal. Everyone is dealing with their stuff and projecting it onto you. They see you thru their own personal story and emotional landscape. Try not to take things personally and hold your energy not to get pulled into other peoples energy and drama.

1. Sometimes the best thing to do when you love someone is to let them go. You grow apart and maybe that will make you grow together. If not, it wasn’t meant to be more than it was.

1. Be sure to be your own best friend. You are going to spend the rest of your life with, well, you. So make this relationship a priority. Self care and meditation are keys.

1. Travel to explore, not to escape or show off.

1. Everyone is doing their best from their level of consciousness. Forgive yourself and forgive others.

1. Go outside daily for a walk. Connect to your planet. Feel the sun, the wind, the water, the grass. Stop and smell the flowers and gaze at the sky.

Mother Earth is always there beneath your feet. What a gift that is.

1. You are not promised anything in this life other than change and death.

1. Be grateful for everything. That will raise your vibration and call in more abundance.

1. Dropping into your bones and feeling your body from the inside is a great way to stop being in your head.

1. The mind is a terrible master and a wonderful servant.

1. Its not normal to have pain in your body all the time. Thats a signal. Seek help from healers: body talk, osteopaths, acupuncturists, a good massage therapist, naturopaths, aryuvedic doctors..

1. If you eat mindfully and take note of how you feel after a meal you can figure out what works for your body and what doesn’t. If this is too hard, take a good allergy test.

1. Dont force things. Let it go and let it flow. Trust the process.

1. There is a lot of power in routines and self control.

1. People will remember you vibe and the way you made them feel moreover the way you looked or what you said.

1. You are never so cool that its ok to look down on other people. You might not agree with what they are doing or stand for, but instead of assuming that you are better, offer compassion and wish them consciousness.

1. Its ok not to know everything. Actually its impossible to know everything. As a matter of fact, the more you know the more you understand that you actually dont really know anything. Regardless of that, keep being curious and keep learning.

1. When something feels off, it probably is. Trust your instinct.

1. It’s ok to cry. Its not a sign of weakness. Its emotions flowing through your body. Release, let it go and let the tears flow. Otherwise you are just going to trap energy and emotions in your body. Trust me, you don’t want this.

1. Surround yourself with authentic people that lift you up, hold space for you and inspire you. You don’t owe anyone anything. We are all here doing our own thing, being the masters of our own fate. You will outgrow people, and that’s ok. People will either rise up to meet your vibe or you will have to lower yours to meet them at theirs. You become the company you keep, they are a refection of you.

1. Trust in the order of the universe. Its ok not to know what comes next. Its ok to fall. We are here to fail as much as we are here to succeed. Pray and ask for what you want. Dream without limits. Find your path and walk with purpose. Know that you are always supported and never alone. Faith is like a comforting blanket holding you as you walk thru life on this blue green planet. Things happen for a reason. Be here fully, present in the moment, for this is what your soul signed up for. You are strong enough and basically made out of stardust. Don’t be afraid, you got this.